Charlotte Rae

Remember the last time I posted, how I ended with the thought that I did not know if I would be able to physically or emotionally endure another seven weeks of pregnancy?

It turns out I was right. My body was ready to give out.

On Tuesday, July 3, I went in for a routine check-up of the baby.

I had gained 16 pounds, but I hadn't been eating.

My blood pressure was also teetering in the "you should be having seizures" zone.

Right away, my doctor knew I had pre-eclampsia.

The thing about pre-e is that many women who catch it in time can be on bed rest and monitor themselves, with the hopes that their baby will cook a little longer. But there is no "cure" for it, other than to have the baby. I was admitted to the hospital right away, with the *hope* that I could let her stay inside awhile, and give her some more time to really fully develop.

My doctor started me on a regiment of magnesium and oral blood pressure medication. When my numbers wouldn't go down, they decided to induce labor.

Again, we tried for the most "natural" route as possible, hoping my cervix would dilate and I could have a vaginal delivery. The problem with this was that the baby's heart rate was dipping just low enough to make the doctors uncomfortable. My high risk OB figured that between my Wegener's, and the pre-eclampsia, it was best to get the baby out.

So, they took her via c-section.

I won't lie. The c-section was miserable. They had to do a lot of pushing and prodding on my upper body - where the spinal didn't exactly reach. So there were moments on the table where I was literally crying, "Get her out of me!" and there were other times where I would just pass out and start snoring. Lol.

According to Tom, the doctors were having a hay day with that one.

Charlotte Rae was eventually born on Wednesday, July 4, at 1:50pm.

She was 17 inches long, weighing in at a whopping 3 pounds, 15 ounces. A total bruiser. ;)

Being born at 32 weeks presents certain complications for any baby. Charlotte is currently taking up residency in the NICU at the Children's Hospital which totally sucks...but she's in good hands. She has battled a little bit of jaundice, so she has spent two days under the lights, but her numbers have been fairly low and not of any concern.

Her glucose is great, and each day they increase her feedings. She is officially taking in 28mL of milk with each feeding, every 3 hours. And, I am happy to report, she is no longer being supplemented with formula since my milk has started to come in. That has been the greatest relief--having a baby in the NICU makes it that much more important to you when you want to breastfeed to be able to do so. I can't explain it.

Aside from the days when she has had to bake under the lights, we have started skin-to-skin time. We lay on a recliner with her, exposed to our chests, with a blanket and we just chill out. This is, by far, my favorite times with her. For the most part, she sleeps, but every now and then - right before feeding time - she wakes up and looks around. Her response to mine and Tom's voice is heart-melting, and while we always start with her on my chest, she has always moved up to nuzzle right into my neck by the time we are done.

I am so in love with this little girl.

There are three things that Charlotte has to do before they will discharge her from the hospital.

(1) She has to go a full 48 hours without the feeding tube, eating from either a bottle or the boob. This will most likely be our greatest hurdle in getting her home, since most babies don't begin to even flirt with the idea of suckling until at least 34 weeks. Yesterday, she was 33.

(2) She has to regulate her own body temperature. In the NICU, they call this "pop the top" - meaning, they can take the top of her incubator off and allow her to breathe in the fresh air. She has to be a certain weight before they will try this and she is literally only fractions of a gram away. I wouldn't be surprised if this happens within a day or two.

(3) She has to gain weight. It's common for brand new babies - premature or not - to lose weight during their first week in the hospital, so this isn't all too concerning. She is down a couple ounces, but we expect that to start rebounding soon.

Overall, she is absolutely perfect. The doctors have even described her as being "very healthy," which gives me great hope and relief. At this point, no one sees any reason why she should be battling any kind of developmental disabilities because of her prematurity. She's just a little small and needs some help to grow. ;)

As you can see from the photo, she looks a lot like Tom and Thad. But I think she looks a little like me, too. ;)  Her hair is dark, and there is a little curl on the side. She has total monkey toes - just like her brother. She is constantly pulling at her cords and IV with her feet, lol.

I will try to get some more pictures as time goes on. I obviously want to document her stay in the NICU, but it's a fine balance between wanting to do that and feeling really weird taking photos of my child hooked up to a bunch of monitors.

In the meantime, Tom and I are sharing our time between being home and being with her. Yesterday, I spent the entire day at the hospital while Tom stayed at home - he felt like he was maybe battling a cold and didn't want to be near her. Feeling better today, he has already headed to the hospital while I stay home with Thad. When he gets home later this afternoon, I will take off to spend the evening with her.

The most difficult thing thus far, aside from her being in the NICU, is having to balance life with a 5-year-old while also wanting to spend every waking moment with Charlotte. While the nurses in the NICU are wonderful, they aren't caretakers. They don't get paid to sit there with the babies, and hold them, and give them the love that they need. So every moment away tugs at my heart, as I realize she is getting almost no interaction or stimulation, aside from the occasional diaper change. There are some babies in the NICU whose parents I have never even seen - it breaks my heart for them, wondering what life situations could be keeping their parents away.

Thank you again for the constant good thoughts and prayers. Tom, Thad and I have felt every single one of them. It's pretty obvious how well-loved this little girl is - for her to be doing so well, so early, is pretty indicative of the amount of prayer and support she has behind her. I am so grateful for all of our family and friends.

I will continue to use my blahg to update on how Charlotte is doing. Hopefully, soon enough, I will be writing a, "She's coming home!" post.