A. Few. Things.

1. Thaddues's first day of preschool didn't go as I had always envisioned in my mind.

He didn't sit on the rug and listen quietly while the teacher read a story. 

Instead, he made loud snoring sounds.

He didn't greet his new teacher with great enthusiasm and joy.

Instead, when she told him he needed to sit on the carpet while he was playing with the sand, he said, "You make me MAD."

He didn't leave the building with his craft in one hand, holding my hand with the other, telling me all about how excited he was to come back.

Instead, he threw himself on the ground in a fit of rage and anger because he didn't get to go on the playground.

Awesome.

At least he's mastered the art of "cheesy grin whilst closing my eyes when my mom commands me to take a picture."

We go back on Wednesday. Let's hope it's not the first time in history that a preschooler is sent to the principal's office.

* * *

2. So, my mom and Aunt Tracey just finished the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer this past weekend.

39.3 miles over the California coastline.

Not an easy task.

Apparently, for some photo opps, they dropped Fergie off - with her husband - about a half mile from the finish line, to make it look like she, too, had walked for the cause.

Um, Fergie?

Since I know you read my blahg and all, I'd like to take this moment to let you know that you're an ass hat. 

Showing up in your pink jumpsuit with "Team Fergie" on it - with your lipstick perfectly applied, and your hair untouched - is downright disrespectful to the hundreds of thousands of women who not only dedicate themselves to the cause for real, but who had also endured a great deal of pain in the past two days to prove just how dedicated they were.

I think you should do us all a favor and next time, just send a check in for some un-Godly amount of money and be done with it. Don't make a mockery of the whole thing.

By the way, did I mention you're an ass hat?

* * *

3. We still can't get Thad to poop in the potty. 

He's afraid he's going to fall in.

So today, he pooped in his Pull Up, and after one sniff, I said, "Ew, Thad, that smells disgusting."

To which he replied, "YOU'RE disgusting."

Quick as a whip, that child.

Quick. As. A. Whip.