Memories.

Dear Thad,

Last night, when I went to tuck you in to bed, I noticed that you had had a little accident. So, while daddy stripped your bed, cleaned your sheets, and put new sheets on the bed, I pulled you into our bed with me while you slept.

It reminded me of the days when we first brought you home from the hospital. 

The nurse had told me that a baby could be calmed by the simple scent of his mother's skin.

So, on those early mornings when you were ready to get up before the rest of the world---including me and daddy---I would pull you into bed, touch your nose to mine, and we would fall back to sleep together.

There was always a wonderful feeling that would sweep over me in those moments, knowing that for 10 months prior to those days, we had formed a connection strong enough to silence your tears with the touch of my hand, or the scent of my skin.

Now, as you have grown, I often miss those moments. They are the memories that bring a smile to my face when you wake me in the morning with your big smile, your sleepy eyes, and your chirping, "Good morning, mommy."

They are the memories that prompt me to pull you into bed, let you watch cartoons, and snuggle with you until you're ready to get going with your day and have some breakfast. 

Listening to your quiet little snores last night brought me back to those mornings when I had the pleasure of holding you close, and all to myself. 

It's hard to believe that time continues to move so quickly. Soon enough, your morning will no longer consist of coming into mine and daddy's room to wake us up for the day. Your willingness to let me hold you will fade, and your desire to snuggle during the morning cartoons will be erased. 

Would you believe that I still remember the very last time that I ever held my own mother's hand? I remember it so vividly, because I remember the simultaneous thought in my head that told me I was too old to be doing something like that. 

Holding hands was for babies. Little kids.

Not me.

But just so you know, on the day that you have those same thoughts, keep in mind that you are wrong.

In my eyes, you will never be too old to hold my hand, or to snuggle with me in the mornings. I will forever treasure you as my baby, even when you are old and grown.

Remember one of our favorite stories?

"I'll love you forever. I'll like you for always. As long as I'm living, my baby you'll be."

Love,

Mom