.

A glimmer of light.

It's no secret that we've had some rough times around the Jeter household these days. Between the Bar exam, unemployment, health insurance and OB craziness, and Thad getting sick a few times, we could all use a break.

Anyways, remember how my shitty ass insurance doesn't cover pregnant women?

Well, my "high risk" pregnancy is projected to cost about $30,000. So yeah, insurance dodged a pretty nice bullet there.

However, I did just pick up my new prescription from the pharmacy.

Apparently I'm at a pretty high risk for blood clots while I'm pregnant, so the doctor has put me on injections - twice a day, into my stomach. Aside from the fact that it is totally ODD that I am injecting a chemical into my stomach...where there is a growing child...I noticed a little ditty. Something that made me smile, actually.

For a one month supply of this medication, the pamphlet says, "Your insurance saved you $4,500."

So take that number, and multiply it by the number of months left in my pregnancy.

Six.

There are six months left in my pregnancy.

Times 4,500.

So yeah, United Health Care. You can take that $27,000 and shove it right up your ass.

K. Thanks. Bye.

(Katie waves).

Some more recent work.

It's been nice being busy again.

I really have missed my camera.



And, of course, one of my favorite handsome man...


While Tom has been gone this week (he's taking the Bar as we speak!), Thad and I have had the chance to hang out, just me and him.  While I admit that being a "single mom" over the past couple months has had its challenges, I'm thankful for the time that Thad and I have had to spend with one another in these last months before it's mommy, Thad, and baby. I really do worry about those days when there's another little one to watch after, and Thad doesn't have my full attention. I really want these last few months to be memorable, for both of us.

I love you monkey. You are my favorite little angel. :)

An OB Update.

Before I start writing this, I just want to warn you that it could take you a very, very long time to read it. Hell, I anticipate taking a very, very long time to write it. You might want to pop some corn...maybe make a few phone calls before the close of the business day...you get the idea.

When I first found out I was pregnant with Thad, I looked for an OB online. I found one that was rated with 5 stars, called, set up an appointment, and we all lived happily ever after.

No, really. I absolutely LOVED my OB(s). It was a large practice, and I think I went thru 10 different OBs that I could potentially see delivering my child, but I loved all of them and I didn't care. At the end of the day, the one who actually DID deliver Thad was my favorite anyways...so the taste in my mouth was always a pleasant one.

I expected this to always be the case, I suppose.

This time, when I found out I was pregnant, there were a few other factors involved. The first person I called was my primary care doctor (PCP), knowing that she delivered babies. While I love my PCP, she's not a high-risk OB, and she wanted me to see one in particular. So, she wrote me a referral, the high-risk OB's office called me, set up an appointment, and all was well with the world.

This particular OB I will refer to as Dr. Douche Bag (Dr. DB). I've never met the man, nor do I personally have anything against him. In fact, as you will learn further into this post, it's actually his staff that I have an issue with. But I can't very well refer to his practice by members of the staff, so there you go. Dr. Douche Bag it is.

My appointment for Dr. DB was set for Monday, March 5.

One week later, my friend, Pam, reminded me about the nuchal scan that you can request when you are pregnant. It has to be performed early on in pregnancy, right at the end of your first trimester. I was so thankful to her for reminding me of it because I have been on so much medication for so long, that I get this feeling that the chances of something actually being wrong with the baby are slightly higher than most mid-20s women who are in otherwise good working condition.

I called Dr. DB's office, and they set the scan up for last Thursday, February 16.

On the morning of my appointment, Dr. DB's office called me to tell me that my insurance does not cover anything related to maternity or pregnancy. I found that pretty shocking, especially since now, to have the scan completed, I was going to have to come up with $800 up front. I asked the receptionist if I could pay 30% up front, and they could bill me later. She said, "No." If I could not pay that day, they could not see me. So, I told her I would have to cancel the appointment and call back to re-schedule.

I think I already blahged about this, but I went to the Medicaid office, and I got coverage for pregnancy-related services.

On that same day, I called the office back to re-schedule. Dr. DB's receptionist told me she would call me back.

She never did.

On Friday, I called again. Again, Dr. DB's receptionist told me she would call me back.

She - again - never did.

By Monday, I was frustrated. The scan should be complete before your 14th week, and I was 13 weeks on Sunday. So, I called again.

I bet you can guess the outcome.

Despite calling again around 4pm, I never received a return phone call.

I was getting desperate.

So, I called my PCP. Upon speaking with her nurse, I found out that Dr. DB was no longer interested in over-seeing my case, and would only co-manage my care. He was recommending I find a new OB. I also found out that the same receptionist who told me I had to pay in full in order to be seen had told Dr. DB that I flat-out refused to pay anything, despite her giving me several options for payment.

Mmmkay.

So now you are not only unprofessional, but you are a liar.

I was so angry. I threw my hands in the air, said, "Screw it," and started calling around to other doctors.

FYI - it isn't easy to just "find" a doctor when you're on Medicaid. Lol. Most doctors only want to see Medicaid patients once a week, so they are typically booked for weeks out. I called 10 different OBs.

The 10th one managed to find a spot for me next Thursday. Phew.

In the meantime, I still wanted the nuchal scan. I wasn't going to be able to accomplish it with Dr. DB, so I asked my new OB to write an order for the test, and tell me where I needed to go and when I needed to show up.

This is the point in the story where I find out that Dr. DB is, quite literally, the only game in town.

Not only is he the only high risk obstetrician on the West side of the state, but he's the only one who does in-office nuchal scans. And, lo and behold, he's all booked up.

So, despite his office canceling on me, despite his receptionist being a liar, they have not only pushed me off to someone else...but they are refusing to administer the scan.

Today, as the nurse from my PCP's office was telling me this, I broke down in tears. It really shouldn't be this difficult to find the kind of care I would like. And I'm not even asking for much! 

My requests of any OB:

1. Don't have a bitchy, liar receptionist working the phones

2. Understand why I want a first trimester nuchal scan, and don't question it

3. Allow me to pay what I can on the services insurance won't cover, understanding full-well that I am a decent human being who not only pays taxes every year, but I also pay my medical bills every single month as they come due.

Looking back on this list, I can't really see that anyone would find me demanding enough to pass me off.

Aside from not being able to have the scan that I wanted to tell me a lot of things that I really wanted to know, I'm faced with a new OB who has already told me that she is 100% unfamiliar with my condition. I can tell you - as a pregnant woman with an extremely rare, life-threatening disease - there is nothing more comforting than a doctor looking you right in the eye and saying, "I have no idea what you are suffering from, but I will do my best."

I have to admit, I've cried a lot of tears over all of this in the past couple of days. 

The law student in me is just itching to find something wrong with Dr. DB so I can sue him for malpractice, lol. I've even considered calling him after hours and having him paged, just so I can get HIM on the phone, and not one of his bitchy receptionists.

But, instead, I made a decision on my way to school this afternoon.

I just have to let it go.

So my OB won't be high-risk. My OB with Thad wasn't high-risk, and at the end of the day I got a happy, healthy baby. As long as baby and I are going to be healthy and happy by the end of August, I don't really care if a lady in the supermarket delivers my baby.

But what I DO know, is that Dr. DB wants to co-manage my care. In other words, he wants to write scripts, and perform random tests, so that he can bill Medicaid for doing next to nothing.

No thanks, Dr. DB. I want you nowhere near me or my child during the rest of this pregnancy, and I hope I have made that incredibly clear.

Everyone says this guy is the best in town...of course he is. He's the ONLY guy in town. How can you be considered anything but the best when you literally have zero competition? I'm willing to bet if another high-risk OB set up shop in this part of town, his shitty customer service and staff would quickly become apparent, and his practice wouldn't be flourishing then quite like it is now.

Now the next step is to visit my new OB for the first time, and I pray, pray, PRAY that I am happy. I really am not a picky person when it comes to medical doctors, despite the fact that I have a lot of experience with some pretty bad eggs. So, I think everything will be alright. I've already called my ENT to put him on notice that he may find himself becoming involved with my pregnancy, as I anticipate needing at least one dilitation before the birth of the baby. 

My doctor in Cleveland, as always, has been super supportive. She calls me at least once a week to see how I am doing, and how my breathing is.

So really, I am in good hands. Just because my doctor isn't labeled for "high risk" doesn't mean my doctor will be any less capable of managing my care.

It just means my doctor can't gauge me for care, and will be more willing to see me as a patient with needs, ideas and plans - as opposed to another woman who maybe shouldn't be pregnant in the first place, treating me like all the others.

Some recent work.


Times is tough.

Update on the Jeter clan...

Thaddeus is pretty sick right now. The kid who never really gets sick, is really sick for the second time in his life. The funny thing is, it's so hard to tell. Let me explain...

Thad first presented with a little cough about two weeks ago. That's fine. The weather sucks one day and then it doesn't, so I chalked it up to seasonal stuff. As time went on, the cough got a little worse...by last week, it was full on chest congestion. So, I took him to the doctor just to make sure it wasn't in his lungs and we weren't facing another bout of pneumonia.

Little stinker...

His lungs are just fine. His ears and throat, however, were not. He has such a severe ear infection in his right ear, that the doctor warned us it could very well burst his ear drum. And while they didn't test his sore throat for strep, they are treating it as such.

I said, "Thaddeus, why didn't you tell mommy that your ear and your throat hurt?"

He said, "Mommy, I didn't want to have to get a shot!"

Oye.

So we've spent a lot of time these past few days talking about how important it is to tell mommy right away when you don't feel good, so she can help you get better BEFORE we have to go to the hospital. Lol. 

And the poor kid. He's definitely feeling one of the major side effects of antibiotics...so that's fun.

______________________

Tom is currently studying for the Bar exam.

This means I get to see him between the hours of 7 and 8am, and even then I am half-dead to the world, so it's more of a grumbling, "Bye honey I love you study hard see you tonight."

He comes home around 8 or 9, just in time to watch an hour of TV and talk on the couch before he passes out.

I am so ready to have my husband back.

I'm tired of the stress it puts on him, and I'm tired of being a single mom.

I know he would help out more if he could (and believe me, despite being gone a lot, he still helps out way more than he should be right now), but wow. My hats go off to women (and men) who do this whole parenting thing alone on a daily basis.

I'm just thankful that baby #2 is still in utero while I'm doing this stuff alone, lol. I might go cray-cray.

_____________________

Things with me are the same.

School is draining all of my willpower to live. Not really, but I'm ready for it to be over. I have my final degree audit in a couple weeks, and then one more semester before I leave that place and never look back.

I still have friends and professors trying to convince me to take the Bar exam. As of now, fine. I'll take it. But if Tom passes the Bar, gets a great job, and life is wonderful...then I won't. Lol. I don't want to practice law unless I have to...

I had a bit of a meltdown the other day when dealing with my new OB and my insurance company.

I had been waiting to see my new OB since I scheduled this appointment in early January. On the day it finally came, they called TWO HOURS BEFORE MY APPOINTMENT to tell me, "Oh, your insurance doesn't cover pregnancy, so you're going to have to pay $800 up front."

I'm sorry...what?

There were so many things wrong with this situation, lol, I can't even begin to tell you.

First of all, thank you for calling me the day OF my appointment with information you have known for damn-near 6 weeks. 

Second of all, we pay thousands of dollars out of pocket for private insurance, and you mean to tell me they won't cover a woman who is pregnant? Isn't that kind of like refusing to cover a woman who gets the flu? I mean...it's pretty damn common, right?

So I called my insurance company to verify. Sure enough - no coverage. For ANY women, not just me. They don't cover a single woman under any plans - you can't even add it as an option.

So, I told the woman on the phone, "Please don't take this offensively, but you work for some crooked fucking bastards."

Not surprisingly, she agreed.

So we were faced with two options - pay out of pocket for prenatal care and everything pregnancy related, or get on Medicaid.

We really did need to think about this decision, lol. I'm so anti-government health care, it's not even funny. But when I found out the price of my high risk pregnancy, from start to finish, was going to be about $30,000, it was a no-brainer.

Thankfully, my specialist accepts Medicaid. But, I am officially a recipient of state benefits.

It kind of makes me ill. But maybe I'll feel differently when I look back on all of this and see that I never got a single bill in the mail.

That might just make it worth it.

After all, isn't that what Tom and I have been paying taxes all these years for?

(By the way, I'll update this post later with some pictures. I think I'm going to pull my camera out, dust it off, and try to get some macro shots of the flower Tom bought me yesterday. What a guy, that Tom Jeter.)  ;)

Be Mine.

I won't even lie.

My motivation for photography has dipped dramatically since Christmas. I chalk it up to the fact that I was so incredibly busy at the end of the last year, that this has been a welcome break. 

When my friend, Pam, said she wanted to do Valentine photos with her little girl, Eloise, and Thad, I was just kind of like, "Sure." 

I tagged along to Hobby Lobby. Bought a few items.

But I let her take the lead on the ideas. She wanted to do cupcakes and frosting and chef hats and aprons and all these really cute ideas that I normally would have loved...but I was really just like, "Eh. Okay. Whatever."

Lol.

Fast forward to today, when our concept shoot came to fruition. 

I picked up my camera - in a serious way - for the first time in months.

And I am so glad I did.

I could not be happier with these photos.

My little Valentine...and his friend Ellie. OMG. They make an adorable duo.




This picture makes me laugh.
I am waaaay too tired to edit out the sides...so we'll call this a "pull back" shot. But the look on Thad's face is priceless.

I had basically told him that he needed to "stir the frosting" before he could eat a cupcake. He was over it.

"MOM! Just let me have a cupcake!" Lol.





Oh, and yeah, there's a baby in that belly. 
Or maybe there's five babies in that belly.

Who knows.

There's definitely some Mexican food in that belly, I'll tell you that. ;)

Lol.


Belated.

This past Sunday my mom found out that her childhood BFF - the one she had known since she was 6-years-old - passed away suddenly from stomach surgery gone wrong. 

The whole thing is pretty tragic, especially considering she left her children behind - the youngest of which is only 9-years-old.

I've had a lot of phobias in my lifetime - fear of elevators. Fear of flying. Fear of paper cuts on my eye, lol. But nothing compares to the fear I have of leaving my children behind. And it's a real, legitimate fear, considering we are never promised another "tomorrow" in this world.

I have been talking with my mom these past couple of days about her friend, Cathy. In those conversations, other people we've loved and lost have come up. I've spent the past couple of days thinking of these people...laughing at some things, crying at others. But there is one theme that pervades each of these thoughts - life is too damn short.

It makes me ill that we so often take advantage of our exchanges with one another, simply because we allow ourselves to temporarily believe that we, and the ones we love, are invincible.

For me, I am haunted by the fact that I didn't get to spend more time with my Grandpa Tom before he passed. I was in California...I was staying at a house not even a mile from where he lived...and I didn't visit. A few months later, he was gone.

And then my thoughts turn to my Grandpa Vern...a man who, during my last visit before he passed, had asked me to take photos of he and my Grandma Lin so they could have a more updated photo of the two of them. Feeling tired on one of my last days, I was somewhat relieved when the two of them came over and said, "Nevermind, let's do them when you're out here in September."

He passed in July.

Instead of saying, "Ok, grandpa, that sounds good," I SHOULD have said, "No, no! Let's do them now!" Because you never know what is going to happen.

I am thankful that I got to see my Grandpa Broad in his final days. Originally I wasn't going to be able to, but in a rare instance of, "No, I want to see him," I was able to spend a little more time with him than originally planned. For that, I am very, very grateful.

But the same cannot be said for so many who have loved and lost.

My heart aches for my mom, as I know she wishes she could have seen Cathy more over their 46 years of friendship. The fear of losing those we love encourages me to be better at my relationships - both with family, and with friends. 

As someone who absolutely hates to talk on the phone, I am very quick to ignore a call from a friend. There are people whom I love dearly but communicate with but once or twice a year. Why? 

So THIS is my New Year's resolution - albeit a bit belated. I want to live my life as though tomorrow may not happen, and love on those who may not wake up tomorrow.

Gone are the days of regret. I don't want to regret not showering someone with love when I had multiple opportunities to do so. I don't want to lose anyone else without them knowing fully and completely how truly important they were to me and my life.

People deserve to know they are important. And loved.

And I have a lot of love to give. :)



CJP 2012 Travel Dates

In recent years, when I have traveled out of state for photo marathons, I have done so primarily for boudoir sessions. This year, I have decided to book anything and everything that comes my way. :)

I am traveling to each of these various cities within the next 11 months. If you are interested, contact me and I can give you further details.

I am also in need of some models - boudoir models, to be exact. Any models will be given photos at 50% off the package of their choice, and must be willing to model for at least TWO one-on-one mentoring sessions.

Contact me at catherinejeter@mac.com for more details. I know this shows about 75% of what you probably want to know, and I am happy to answer any and all questions. :)

See you soon!