.

Sweet boy.

Tonight, while my family and I were out running errands, we stopped at the Sprint store so I could [once again] figure out what was wrong with my Crackberry.

While we waited, Thad met a little friend named Charlie. They spent the entire time running around together, chasing one another thru the store. It was so super cute. We eventually found out that they were only a couple weeks apart, too - both September babies.

Anyways, I noticed, when Charlie came up to me, that he had a hole in his neck just like me.

This handsome little friend had once had a trach.

Hello, instant attachment.

I wanted to take him home.

Instead, I talked to his mom. Asked her all about it. We swapped stories about stomas, and decanulation, and suctioning, and secretions, and yes - I just said secretions. Lol.

I seriously felt an instant bond to this little boy. I wish that I had taken his mom's number so that our boys could play together on a regular basis. I'm kicking myself in the ass for not having done so. Instead, the thought of him will weigh heavily on my mind.

I'm not even sure why he has been on my mind so much since we left the Sprint store, but he has.

Maybe because of how brave he must have to be - as a 3-year-old - to live with a trach, and a half-open stoma, and to brave surgery to fix all that is potentially wrong with him.

He made me feel like a much stronger person for all that I had been through, and the only thing he and I talked about together was the big ol' monster truck on the front of his yellow shirt.

Last night, one of the winners at the Academy Awards thanked his child - because she had taught him so much more than he could teach her in an entire lifetime.

This is so true about children. We learn so, so much from being around them, and spending time in their presence. Not just our own children - but others as well.

Others like Charlie. Who I will be thinking about and praying for in the weeks to come. :)

Boris the Beta.

First, let me start off by saying that Tom let me sleep in until almost 1pm today.

Husband of the Year, absolutely.

Second, we got a new addition to the Jeter family today! Boris the Beta.


We had intended to go out on our Sunday afternoon and pick up some new flooring for my studio, as well as some groceries.

While we were at the store, I said to Tom, "I think we should get Thad a fish."

Tom said, "Yeah, one day. But not now. I really don't think he needs a fish right now."

So, being the absolutely wonderful wife that I am, when Tom went to the bathroom, I took Thad to the fish section and he picked out a Beta.

Ok, fine. So that makes me an awful wife. And maybe I'm exaggerating the story just a tad, but thankfully Tom was a good sport.

And all Thad keeps saying is, "I love my new fish, mommy!"

I've never really been a huge fish fan. I rank them right up with pet birds - they're disgusting, and dirty, and they really serve no purpose since you can't play or cuddle with them.

But, I feel bad that Thad can't get a cool dog to run around and play with, and Mystic is pretty much lame, too. So, I figured a little fish that he can take care of - that will give him even a teeny bit of responsibility - would be a good idea.

We'll see how it works out. :)

Love this song. Love this kid.

It’s like a storm
That cuts a path
It’s breaks your will
It feels like that
You think your lost
But your not lost on your own
Your not alone

I will stand by you
I will help you through
When you’ve done all you can do
If you can’t cope
I will dry your eyes
I will fight your fight
I will hold you tight
And I wont let go

It hurts my heart
To see you cry
I know it’s dark
This part of life
Oh it finds us all
And we’re too small
To stop the rain
Oh but when it rains

I will stand by you
I will help you through
When you’ve done all you can do
And you can’t cope
I will dry your eyes
I will fight your fight
I will hold you tight

And I wont let you fall
Don’t be afraid to fall
I’m right here to catch you
I wont let you down
It wont get you down
Your gonna make it
Yea I know you can make it

Cause I will stand by you
I will help you through
When you’ve done all you can do
And you can’t cope
And I will dry your eyes
I will fight your fight
I will hold you tight
And I wont let go
Oh I’m gonna hold you
And I wont let go
Wont let you go
No I wont.


Food for thought.

I am supposed to be picking up Thad from his babysitter's house right now, but my mind is racing with a bunch of random thoughts that I need to get down on paper. Well, not really paper...but who's counting?

Anyways.

In my ethics class this afternoon, we had a guest speaker. She works for the Michigan Bar Association and she deals with lawyers who need a lot of mental help...because, let's face it, lawyers - in general - need a lot of mental help. So, her 2 hour slide show presentation turned into what seemed like a 2-hour therapy session for my peers. It was incredible...and amusing at the same time.

I listened to people talk about how they needed to take a semester off, but they were afraid of being perceived as a failure.

I listened to people talk about their great struggles with procrastination.

I listened to people talk about their fear of failing, and all of this pressure that is riding on them to succeed when they graduate.

I listened to people discuss the need to begin studying in Week 8 for exams that don't even occur until Week 15.

And then it dawned on me.

I don't struggle with any of this shit. My biggest question of the day is whether or not I reach for a banana at breakfast, or I go for some cereal. Should Thad wear his blue shirt, or his red shirt? Should I shower this morning, or in the evening? Do I have time to hit the gas station, or do I just pray that I make it to my destination on time?

Seriously.

My stress level - while elevated at times - is probably nowhere near where it should be, in comparison to the people I am surrounded with.

So am I just that good at handling pressure? Do I realize that in the end, everything will work out just fine, so I am more capable of succeeding in certain aspects where others are not?

Or am I a totally lame douche bag who just stumbles through life, without seeing the immediacy or the importance of it all?

Honestly.

I don't understand all of this "pressure" that people around me are constantly feeling. Everyone is so worked up about the stupidest shit, and I don't know why.

When I try to think back to before my diagnosis, I wonder if I was slightly more urgent in my day-to-day activities, but I don't think I was. So it's not like I can even blame a life-threatening disease on my care-free attitude.

The small shit just really doesn't matter.

Sometimes it does.

But for the most part, it really doesn't.

Am I crazy? Or am I right?

Or am I neither?

(Or both?)


Anyone want a laugh?


More to come later...when I'm not in a hurry to get dressed and go to school.

Lol.

Gah.

I'm stressed out.

My phone isn't working. I can't get text messages, and either no one has called me for the past few days, or I can't get phone calls either. Have I ever, in this lifetime, mentioned how much I absolutely hate my Blackberry?

A woman from Thad's preschool called our house tonight - she is hoping I can put together a display for an auction the school is having in March. Sure! Great! Um...she needs the display this week. So, I've been sitting at this damn computer for what seems like an eternity making, then re-making, then re-making, then deleting, then DRINKING, then re-making business cards and brochures.

I really need to hire a graphic designer because I hate everything I've come up with so far.

Finals are going on at ITT this week so I have to get grades done and over with.

We are officially in Week 8 and I have done not a single bit of outlining for any of my classes. Oh - and I have a 30 - 40 paged paper due in two weeks. That's awesome.

I am convinced that Thaddeus thinks I am the devil since these days it seems like I am always saying things like, "Get in your room. Come down when you're ready to act like a nice boy."

"If you hit me with that toy one more time I am going to throw it in the garbage can."

"Thaddeus. Stop splashing water out of the bath tub. Do you want to fall through the floor?"

"No, you cannot say that word. Why? Because it's not a nice word."

"One...two...don't say 'three' for me."

"Mommy just cleaned that. Please don't wipe your toothpaste all over it."

"Thad, markers are for paper. Not for the table and chairs."

"Child, you are driving me absolutely crazy. What is crazy? Crazy is when mommy wants to rip her hair out of her head."

"No, you may not have popcorn for breakfast. Why? Because I said so. And because popcorn is not a breakfast food."

Alright, enough bitching and whining from me. :)

Off to work on these brochures some more...

Saturday night.

Let's conduct a time line, shall we?

We'll start with the year 2000 - the year I turned 18. My Saturday night went something like this:

Leave with friends, head to Red Robin for some clucks and fries. Cross the street to Columbine park, and randomly hang out on the swing set. Maybe see a movie. Never get into trouble. Speed back up the mountain at 11:45, since curfew was at midnight.

That same year, I went to college. After having resented my midnight curfew for quite awhile, I vow to make midnight a thing of the past. Since I am too young for the bars, I find myself at random parties here and there, staying out until early hours of the morning. Life is fun.

By 2002, I've become more invested in my wardrobe than my education and I end up running up quite a bit of debt. No big deal - but I have to find a job. Saturday night now consists of working as a waitress, and then an expo, at Chili's Grill & Bar. Life is not as fun anymore.

Every now and then, I get a random Saturday off. On those nights, I am out with friends, closing down the bar. But just because the bar is closed, doesn't mean Taco Cabana is closed, too. So, we head out to wait in an hour-long drive-thru line for tortillas and queso. We take the food home, and reminisce about the drunken activities. My roommates and I end up passing out together in one person's bed. We wake up the next morning in the early afternoon. Life is fun on these nights.

Fast forward to 2005, when I leave Texas to head to Grad School in Denver. Saturday nights are now spent with friends - including Tom. Actually, during this one year of my life, Saturday night was much like every night of the week. Since I worked during the day, we would spend the evenings at OTB, or some random bar that sold Long Island Iced Teas. Many o' evenings were a blur. Life was really, really fun.

Fast forward to the year 2011. My child is three. And, while life is fun, it is a different kind of fun. 

Tonight, my Saturday night went something like this:

Wake up from a nap around 5. Throw Thad in the tub, along with his bed sheets (don't ask).

Get dressed.

Leave at 5:45, and pick up Thad's friend, Keegan.

At 6, we head to Play World. The entire time, we are listening to the boys spitting, screaming, and randomly singing to the Disney songs I have playing on the car radio. Tom and I are getting a good laugh at this point.

We get to Play World.

The boys have an hour-and-a-half to run around and tire themselves out. They do just that.

They drink a ton of lemonade, and we take like 400 trips to the bathroom.

We leave.


We drop Keegan off at home.

We head to McDonald's since Thad hasn't eaten dinner, and it's nearing 8:30.

We get home. We eat. We watch The Berenstein Bears.

Thad goes to bed.

Tom and I are about to watch The Sopranos.

My...how life has changed.

The end.

Boudoir!

Do you follow this blahg regularly and often find yourself thinking, "Geesh. I wish Katie had yet another blog to keep up with!"

Well, you're in luck. Because I do!

And I want you to check out my most recent post. Not because it's really interesting - but because it took me about 3 hours to put together, so I need to feel like all of that hard work went toward something.

If you're going to be doing boudoir with me, it might actually be beneficial.

If you already did boudoir with me, maybe you'll think, "Damn. I want to do another boudoir session."

And, if you never plan to do boudoir with me, that's ok too. But I hope some day you'll change your mind. ;)

Catching up.

It's been almost two weeks since I've updated my blahg, so I suppose I should start off by apologizing to those of you - *cough* - Tonya - *cough* - who start your day with a bowl of breakfast, and a quick read of my insanely interesting life.

Second order of business - Happy Valentine's Day from the Monkey!


Tom and I went on our little Valentine's date last night, and it was nice to get away for a few hours. I honestly can't even remember the last time Tom and I had gone out on a date, although I suppose it was around Christmas time. It's so wonderful being able to kiss Thad goodnight, give the babysitter a wave, and head out for some good Italian food and a movie; just the two of us.

As far as everything else in this crazy life is concerned, we are doing well.

Photography is starting to move in a different direction, and that's exciting. I was recently in Chicago for a few shoots, and I am headed to Dallas soon for a boudoir marathon. In June, I am looking at potentially going to Vegas with the same idea in mind.

I've also reached a point in my business where my clientele is actually large enough that I see the importance of marketing and tweaking my professionalism.

I designed my own CD tri-fold cases to send to clients with the photos from their shoots, and am considering a digital welcome packet. I wish I could just have 5 straight, uninterrupted days to work on that stuff, but of course, I don't. Thus, it's a slow process getting it all done, but it's exciting to see how it's all coming along.

School is school. It sucks, and I hate it. But I'm almost finished. I just had a conversation with my mom the other day about graduation. That talk alone made everything seem so much more real. By this time next year, I will be studying for the Bar exam, and in just a few more months, Tom will actually be graduating. I feel like these last few years have gone by so fast, it's insane. The thought of it coming to an end is so, so scary, but so, so exciting.

I can't wait to move on with the next chapter of my life.

Thaddeus is...well...three years old. Need I say more?

We are having a tough time as of late with drastic mood swings. One minute, he is the sweetest little angel, wanting to cuddle on the couch and tell you that he loves you and that you're his best friend. The next minute, he grows a set of horns, he turns red, and all of a sudden you find yourself wondering if this is what hell will be like.

It's almost like a toddler version of bi-polar disorder. But, from everything I've heard and read, it's pretty normal.

And the best news? Apparently it gets much, much better when they turn 4.

So...the countdown begins. September 1 is but a few months away, and hopefully, like the click of a switch, these last two "terrible" years will be behind us.

Don't get me wrong - there's much more good than bad when it comes to being a parent. But there's a reason why people have pegged these years as some of the most difficult. It's like an insane test of my patience - especially when you tell your child to do something and he straight up looks at you, makes a face, and says, "No."

Um...what? Not the answer I was looking for.

But, we're working through it.

Everything else is pretty much the same, so I guess that means you've been properly updated.

The winter quarter at ITT is coming to a close, so I am getting very close to having 3 weeks off (hallelujah!). When the spring quarter begins, I will be teaching a couple new classes - one to include a composition class that I am so, so excited about - and it should make things pretty interesting.

Speaking of interesting, Thad's Valentine's Day party at school starts in 30 minutes so I'm off to help with that. He seems to enjoy acting up a bit more when his mom and dad are around - I guess he's trying to show off? - so it should make for some fun times at school. Lol.

Maybe I'll update on that later...

...if I survive...

Guilty.


Oh my gosh, I'm so guilty of this. This definitely made me laugh.

I'm not sure why I felt like this last snow storm was such a big deal. I've seen far worse. Heck, I survived the October storm of '06 when we lived in Buffalo. Maybe because it was such a huge storm, stretching across the entire country?

Either way, this totally put people like me in my place.

And I love it.

Snowpocalypse 2011.

Well, the big bad blizzard of 2011 came and went. Actually, it's still here, but just barely. There are flurries coming down, but nothing like we had from about 5pm last night until late this morning.

We are definitely buried under snow drifts several feet high, and I don't think we could really get our car out if we tried.

But oh well. We don't have anywhere to be today. :)

For the most part, we've spent the day laying around, doing absolutely nothing. But we did take about an hour to go outside, play in the snow, and watch daddy shovel.









And here's one from earlier, when we were still wrapped up inside the house, watching a movie.

Did you know that my kid is actually a vampire?