Other circumstances.

In an email exchange to a friend of mine the other day, I made a statement that kind of came out of nowhere, but it really hit me hard. I wanted to share it on my blahg because, from what I can tell, it relates to almost all of you who read it (that I know of...I know there are some of you out there reading this who would totally shock me if you actually admitted to reading my blahg!). 

Anyways, I was talking about friendship and what is required of each of us at those moments when someone we know or love hits a rough patch. I think that sometimes it's important to be selfless in a friendship, and at other times it's important to be selfish. I am selfless with certain people in my life right now - acting as a sounding board, helping them through specific situations, expecting nothing in return because I know they are incapable of giving it right now.

However, with others, I have also been selfish. There are certain times in our lives when we just can't give any more to others what we are required to give to ourselves. And that has been very true for me since December of 2008. Since that time of my diagnosis, I have been bitchier than usual. I have been forgetful. I have been a total space cadet. My medications make me feel like the only thing I can do each and every day is sleep. I've lost my will to socialize on a regular basis - I'm much more comfortable at home, in sweats, lying on the couch with Tom. That's just how it goes.

But it won't always be this way. My medications (God willing) will come to a halt in December of this year, and the "old Katie" will return. My mind will return to me. 

At the end of the day, not only will I have had all the energy in the world to keep up with Thad, but I will have some left over for Tom and my friends. My "personal problems" meter will scale back dramatically, and I'll be able to be a better friend to those I seem to have neglected over the past couple of years.

I am thankful to those of you who have stuck around. You've cut me some slack, and allowed me to be more ditzy, more bitchy, more tired, and more lazy than normal. You've never allowed me to take advantage of you, and when I came close to walking that line, you've given me a swift kick in the ass.

These past two years battling this disease has taught me so, so much about friendship. And those of you who are still around, I am greatful for. I am so blessed to call each of you "friends" and I thank each of you for the support you have provided to me and my family in my time of need.

The impact you have had on my heart is not even capable of being expressed in words. Just know that it is there.

My cup overfloweth.